Saturday, 13 June 2020

An Open Letter to My Son-in-law.

Hi I am a mom of 27 yrs old daughter, a daughter who will get married sooner and begin a new life. I have noticed that there is a to-do list for a daughter and list of expectations from her in-laws which is given at the first meeting of both the families or gradually told to their daughter-in-law after her marriage. The daughter-in-law and her values are judged and criticized too as per convenience. Like every mom does, I have also taught my daughter to adjust and adapt to new family and their way of living. 
 
I've always had a question that why aren’t guys given such to-do list before and after their marriage. Why isn’t he judged or have to face criticism? Why always a daughter has to change her entire life behind a family for her man? Why isn’t a man allowed to change and if he does then he is called “joru ka gulaam"?

I am writing this open letter to my son-in-law which can also be a message to everyone out there. Every daughter is their parent’s princess who is bought-up with all the love and pampering. My daughter is the silver lining on our clouds. She is been bought up in different ways than yours. Though she will be 27yrs but for your home she is still a new born baby. I know that your parents will be there for her and condition her accordingly. But she also has her own identity. She is a modern girl with values and few lessons of life. 

I don’t know when did my daughter grow-up so fast. Until 21 she was getting her educational qualifications. And now she's about to get married and gonna adapt to a new home. You have been living there and have your own values and way of dealing with things. You just need to share your room with her and she has to completely change the way she has been living throughout until now. And trust me, my son it is much more difficult to unlearn and then relearn the same things. You need to be there for her, take a stand for her and maintain the balance between her and your family. 

After she gets married we will be left all alone in this house. She is there, understanding your family, and in mean time you be there for us. It would be great if you will also put in the same amount of efforts to understand us. The way you and your family have expectations from her, similarly we do too. Instead of being stubborn and arrogant on her mistakes keep yourself in her place and then react. So instead of making it difficult, make it a lovely journey of life. With time you both will change for each other and for a better future, which is indeed necessary for a successful marriage. 

The way she is my daughter, you are my son too. The way she demands pocket money from us till date, even you can. The way she demands to take her out for weekends, even you can. I know she is going to be super jealous of it but she will be happy to see us living. She gave her dad an aim to earn with her reasonable demands and her daddy fulfilled it willingly and never got upset with her wish list. Finally I am handing you a part of us. People cry from there stupid breakups saying the person who took their heart for few months broke it. We are giving you a part of our living and if she isn’t laughing how we can smile, if she isn’t crying with joy of happiness how we can be happy.


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