Divinity in Hell

"... it's no longer my story anymore. It's a story that belongs to everyone. A story of unrequited love and it's addiction; of compassion, boundaries, hatred, betrayal, immaturity, recklessness, reluctance, foolishness, humbleness, fear, vengeance, cruelty; of loss and gain, and most importantly, a story that everyone should know to understand that they're not alone. A story that needed to be heard and said out aloud – For a very, very long time indeed. A story that'll make you realise if you deny love, you'll deny your divinity, but if you accept it, it'll also unleash the hell upon you. It'll not only crush your heart and bones, but will also torment your soul. A story where even an intermittent smile on their faces, felt like a burden of a lifetime."

~An Excerpt From The Book I'm Going To Write.

//Maana ke hum yaar nahi, Lo tay hai ki pyaar nahi//

That one person in your life with whom you have 'more than best friends but less than lovers' kinda relation. You wouldn't have even thought of it but one fine day you sit down and realise, you love that person, not like a best friend but like a lover.

//Maana ke hum yaar nahi,
  Lo tay hai ki pyaar nahi//

You start falling for that person. You try your best to hide your feelings but you fail, miserably. That anxious moment when you finally confess your love to that person (hoping in the back of your mind that they would love you back too). But their response being they don't love you back, makes you feel guilty of confessing your love to them. If you wouldn't have said it, you wouldn't have lost a beautiful friendship. The phase of not being anything between just friends or lovers to that person, breaks you. It kills you inside. This song is all about remembering that one YAAR who could never be your PYAAR. And now, isn't your yaar anymore. 

//Raaste Mein Jo milo toh,
 Haath milane ruk Jaana.
Saath Mein Koi ho tumhare,
Durr se hi tum muskana//

This just explains how painful losing a friend can be. After a few years, while walking on the road, you both cross paths. Just the difference is, you're alone and they're with someone. You both just smile at each other. That one person, who you used to hug tight every time you saw them, is the same person you feel awkward to even shake hands. That's the thing about love, it changes you. You can never forget how you felt for that person because some stories are confined to hearts. After having an eye contact you both walk away. You look back just to realise  they're already looking at you. 

Have you ever looked at a person as if it were your last time? Register every single detail of them? You did it, at that moment. Not because you still love them but to just remember how wonderful of a person they are. Though not together, you'll always be happy for them in whatever they do because that's how some love stories are supposed to end.

was she a rebound?

 What’s gone is gone!! I realized it bit late, when I met this beautiful soul, full of life. I am Manik who recently broke-up with his girlfriend. I had these bunch of crazy people whom we call friends who taunted me "humne kahan tha, humari sunna nhi tune abhi baithkein ro uskein pichein" (we had warned you before but you didn’t listen to us now you sit and cry)  and hug u tight the very next moment "abhi next time savdhan rehna" (be careful from next time). We had a rule to celebrate every smallest achievement and according to them it was a very big achievement. We decided to party YA YA! a breakup party. 

At Mumbai Club’s the couple entry is free and stags are chargeable. We decided to go along with our partners and everyone had one except me which took me back in her thoughts but my friends had some other plans for me. They arranged a partner for me. She happened to be one of our classmates named Nandini. I never noticed her, as I was an absent-minded attendee in the class.  We reached at venue ie the famous PlayBoy Club at town, made our entry in the club with our respective partner. She was looking stunning and I had decided to get hooked up as I thought it’s the best way to overcome and heal. It was one crazy party, with unlimited booze, amazing music and crazy dance moves. Nandini was a great partner to gel-up and grove with. We had great evening and night to call off for. 

After party everyone had their own private plans with there partners. And as a gentleman I was supposed to drop Nandini at home safely. By that time the thought of hooking up with her had vanished and we had build a strong connection. While moving back home we were discussing about career and love, life and happiness. We were hungry so we stopped at a juhu beach to hog at rekri but it was closed. But she knew a place where we found an idli wala which was in the lane next to Marriot. We had many similar likes and dislikes. I felt as i was falling in love with her simplicity. But later on we started talking as if we are very old best buddies. We guys call our best friend or close friend 'bhai', we started addressing eachother in similarly. I realised one thing that day the myth a girl and boy can never be friends is a false. I found a bestie in her who was straight forward, down to earth but she always flew like an eagle. 

Yes!! she wasnt a rebound but made sure one don't need any such temporary or instant rebounds to overcome a failed relationship. Her friendship could leave any relationship behind. She was the true definition of a pure and long lasting friendship in this mean and double standard world.